God I love prawns.

Costco's oranges. Delicious.

The new Saturday Age.

A project we've been working on with the cool dudes at Qube Konstrukt.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Cupcakes 101.

Gab learnt how to bake Ottolenghi's Chocolate Cupcakes and i learnt that you're allowed to try a puff of a cigarette and a beer when you're 18 (but if you drink too much you may become unconscious and die), most kids have fish rather than dogs, and Guy Sebastian's 'Who's that girl?' is hot right now. 

Poor fish.

 

Went to dumpling place but they had no dumplings.Just fish crammed into a little tank. I'm not really in a position to complain, given i buy cage eggs, but they do look kind of sad.

Another Saturday night in, this time with James Bond and Ben O'Donoghue.

ABC Delicious, February 2011 (p.43)

I ♥ Etsy but don't fancy yellow shit on my feet.

I finally muster up the courage to wear my vintage wedges and I'm rewarded with a PMS 116 foot fungus. Thank-you Retrothreadz.

Kissing chickens.

Prawn, haloumi and watermelon salad.

Recipe

Love my 'V-Cutter'.

You'd think the Germans could come up with a more creative name for their whizz bang mandolin. If one didn't know better, they might think it's a female circumciser! This tool makes Ottolenghi's delicious Seafood, Fennel and Lime Salad so easy that we knocked it out two weekends in a row. Ottolenghi, The Cookbook (p.135)

RECIPE

2 small fennel bulbs
½ red onion, very thinly sliced
Juice and zest of 1 lime
2 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tbsp chopped dill
2 tsp chopped parsley
1 mild chilli, finely chopped
4 tbsp olive oil
¼ tsp salt
350g baby squid, cleaned
8 tiger prawns, peeled and deveined
3 tsp sumac (If you can get it!)
2 tbsp chopped coriander
Pomegranate seeds for garnish (optional)

Method

Trim the bases and tops of the fennel bulbs. Slice widthways as thinly as you can. A mandolin is great for this. In a large bowl, mix the fennel and onion with the lime juice and zest, garlic, dill, parsley, chilli, 2 tbsp of the olive oil and the salt. Set aside.

Place a heavy iron pan (preferably a griddle pan) on a high flame and leave for a few minutes until piping hot.  Meanwhile, mix the squid and prawns with the remaining 2 tbsp olive oil and a pinch of salt.  Grill the seafood in small batches, turning over after 1 minute, then cooking until just done (roughly 1 more minute for the squid and 3-4 for the prawns). Remove to a chopping board and slice the squid into thick rings. Either leave the prawns whole or cut in half.

Add the seafood to the bowl and toss with the fennel and onion mixture.
To serve, stir in the sumac ( if you have it) and coriander then taste and, if necessary, adjust the seasoning. A few scattered pomegranate seeds make a beautiful garnish.
This salad can be kept in the fridge for a day.

Don't be fooled. The devil hides within.

Feeling seedy?

Ottolenghi's Roasted Butternut Squash with Burnt Aubergine and Pomegranate Molasses is an awesome side. The texture mix-up of the seeds, sauce and almonds worked perfectly with Don's roast lamb and it's so photogenic!

Ottolenghi, The Cookbook (p.46)

Serves 2-4

1 large butternut squash
4tbsp olive oil
1tbsp pumpkin seeds
1tbsp sunflower seeds
1tbsp black sesame seeds (if unavailable, use white ones)
1tsp nigella seeds
10g sliced almonds
10g basil leaves
Coarse sea salt and black pepper

for the Sauce

1 medium aubergine
150g Greek yoghurt, at room temperature
2tbsp olive oil
1tsp pomegranate molasses
3tbsp lemon juice
1tbsp coarsely chopped flat leaf-parsley
1 garlic clove, crushed

Preheat the oven to 220°C/425°F/Gas Mark 7. Trim the top and bottom off the butternut squash and cut it in half lengthways. Remove the seeds using a small knife or a spoon. Cut each half into wedges 2-3cm thick. Arrange the wedges in a roasting tray, standing them up with the skin underneath if possible. Brush with half the olive oil and season generously with salt and pepper. Place in the oven for 25-30 minutes, by which time the wedges should be tender and slightly browned. Leave to cool.

Reduce the oven temperature to 180°C/350°F/Gas Mark 4. Scatter the pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, nigella seeds and sliced almonds on a roasting tray and toast for 8-10 minutes, until lightly browned. Leave aside to cool.

For the sauce, place the aubergine directly on a moderate flame on a gas hob (you might want to cover the hob top with foil before you begin). Burn the aubergine for 12-15 minutes, until the skin dries and cracks and smoky aromas are released. Turn it around occasionally, using metal tongs. Remove the aubergine from the heat and leave to cool slightly. (Or, you can place the aubergine under a very hot grill for about an hour, turning it around occasionally; continue until it is well shrivelled on the outside, even if it bursts open.)
Make a long cut through the aubergine. Using a spoon, scoop out the soft flesh while avoiding most of the burnt skin. Drain in a colander for 10 minutes, then transfer to a board and chop roughly.

In a mixing bowl stir together the scooped out aubergine flesh, Greek yoghurt, olive oil, pomegranate molasses, lemon juice, coarsely chopped flat leaf parsley and crushed garlic. Taste and season with salt and freshly ground black pepper. The sauce should be sweetly sharp and highly flavoursome.

Arrange the butternut squash wedges on a serving platter, piling them up on top of each other. Drizzle with the remaining olive oil, sprinkle the pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, nigella seeds and almonds over and garnish with the basil. Serve the sauce on the side.

A quick lunch.

 

Camargue Red Rice and Quinoa with Orange and Pistachios (The Cookbook - Ottolenghi)

Brisket burgers in the background (Gourmet Traveller Annual 2008)

Smoked Salmon and Dill Roulades (Delicious Magazine Dec '10/Jan'11)
Chargrilled Cauliflower with Tomato, dill and Capers (The Cookbook - Ottolenghi)

 Jane Lawson Pretzels (Snowflakes and Schnapps)

 Ottolenghi Green Pancakes with Lime Butter (Delicious June '10)

With lime coriander butter

David Lebovitz's Banana Cake with Mocha Frosting and Salted Candied Peanuts
(Ready for Dessert)

Ottolenghi's salted caramel macaroons.

Something dead in our kitchen sink?

Got home after work and was greeted by a stench in the kitchen. Was a combo of sick people's urine samples, dead possum and unwashed privates. When half a bottle of morning fresh, a squeeze of lemon juice and good splash of vinegar failed to kill the smell, I decided to give Jane Lawson's Fish Frikadeller with Curry Remoulade a crack. If you can't beat 'em, join em! I managed to get bits of fish all over the kitchen when trying to remove the skin from the fish and dripped onion juice accross the floor when squeezing the liquid out of the grated onion. You know how that shop Lush smells like a nauseating combo of cleaning products? Our kitchen smelt a bit like a big compost heap, but man did our fish frikadeller taste amazing!

David Lebovitz the cause of my bulging left breast?

I visited the vag doc recently for my regular poke-about. I asked him if it were possible that the hovering ring in my woohoo was the cause of my heaving bosom, and would you believe he said (something to the effect of) "Possibly, but perhaps if you didn't sample everything you posted on Facebook, you might not have this problem." Phhh, I say.
 

Who is Oscar Lipp?

Surprisingly, and much to my father's dismay, there has been no gossip surrounding our engagement announcement in the AJN last week. It was a given that Oscar's name would appear alongside my parents. My brother was momentarily disappointed that the miniature schnauzer copped a guernsey and he did not, but as Oscar's age is more that of a father, then a brother, and it would probably cost another $100 to get Andrew a mention as well, he quickly built a bridge.

We expected some controversy to arise due to the format of the names. For those not close to the family, one could well have assumed that dad had remarried a bloke named Oscar. Or perhaps mum and dad were in a three-way relationship with Oscar, although I'm tipping my parents would not be that adventurous. Perhaps dad was not in fact my real father and this Oscar bloke had appeared out of nowhere after a) stalking my cooking on Facebook and gagging for a good feed b) hearing the joyous news and wanting to be part of my life again or c) spotting my big mouth on the Digital Folk website and wanting a web banner made on the cheap.

Alas, there has been no speculation. Zero. I can only assume that Oscar's turtle-neck jumpers and his very bad breath has brought him widespread fame or alternatively, people care more about the departures page.

Otherwise known as 'The Muff Girl'.

Rocked up at Nike yesterday with Marty to present a couple of projects and learned that my client has been referring to me (I can only assume affectionately) as 'The Muff Girl', because I generally rock up to meetings with my fluffy ear muffs on. 

Upon discovering this, my frontal lobe took over and relaunched a convo we left off about 2 months ago (which Marty had not been privy to), something to do with a failed Brazilian wax in Portugal back in '02...which then moved on to me going to Vietnam next week and having to shuffle about my wax appointments and go 8 weeks rather than 5 without a prune...and then onto some detail around my overgrown shrubbery causing me spacial relation issues resulting in me banging my va-gin into the middle bathroom drawer as well as two table corners (FYI in Polish, a 'cunt' is a corner of a table) all in the space of one week. 

Marty was mortified, even though it was he who told me earlier in the week that the reason i formed such great relationships with clients was because i shared the interesting bits of my personal life with them and others could learn from my peoples skills. Anyhoo, the clients were quiet amused AND have another project for us. Nice work dirt-bag.

Compost muffins. A real struggle for me.

Insane week so far. Still undecided whether insane in a good way or bad way. 

For some reason, probably fatigue, my tolerance for retards (as in stupid people, not people with legitimate medical issues) and fat people (weight issues brought on by drinking regular coke and inhaling trans-fatty foods, as opposed to evil thyroids or pregnancy, although on occasion there is a cross-over...) has been nil.

In the waiting room this morning, a woman with three bellies, sweat oozing out between the folds, decides to sit next to/on top of me, despite there being about 15 vacant chairs.I was repulsed. And because the doctor was running 45 mins late (despite mine apparently being the first appointment of the day) I had to sit next to her for an extended period of time. 

Fortunately my attention was diverted by a message from Emily who was so kind to remind me that it was actually Brendan's birthday today and i'd better get my shit together and sort him out a baked birthday delight, as he'd feel neglected if I didn't (I bake things for all special occasions at work). The easiest thing i could think of was banana choc-chip muffins, but in my current sensitive state, I wasn't sure i'd be able to cope with the disgusting smell of the peels. Gross. They make me dry vom nearly every time. At work recently, the boys sellotaped a really black peel to the underside of my desk without my knowledge. I could well have institutionalized that day.

Anyhoo, I rushed home, armed with ripe bananas, put on my onion goggles (which for some reason i though would help me handle the situation,) blocked my nose and peeled and mashed at a pace you could not imagine. I then double-bagged the garbage bin, took it straight to the big bins and baked my acclaimed muffins, which were naturally a huge hit.

I think banana peels, amongst a whole heap of other things, will have to make an appearance in my new year resolutions next year.