Something dead in our kitchen sink?

Got home after work and was greeted by a stench in the kitchen. Was a combo of sick people's urine samples, dead possum and unwashed privates. When half a bottle of morning fresh, a squeeze of lemon juice and good splash of vinegar failed to kill the smell, I decided to give Jane Lawson's Fish Frikadeller with Curry Remoulade a crack. If you can't beat 'em, join em! I managed to get bits of fish all over the kitchen when trying to remove the skin from the fish and dripped onion juice accross the floor when squeezing the liquid out of the grated onion. You know how that shop Lush smells like a nauseating combo of cleaning products? Our kitchen smelt a bit like a big compost heap, but man did our fish frikadeller taste amazing!

David Lebovitz the cause of my bulging left breast?

I visited the vag doc recently for my regular poke-about. I asked him if it were possible that the hovering ring in my woohoo was the cause of my heaving bosom, and would you believe he said (something to the effect of) "Possibly, but perhaps if you didn't sample everything you posted on Facebook, you might not have this problem." Phhh, I say.
 

Who is Oscar Lipp?

Surprisingly, and much to my father's dismay, there has been no gossip surrounding our engagement announcement in the AJN last week. It was a given that Oscar's name would appear alongside my parents. My brother was momentarily disappointed that the miniature schnauzer copped a guernsey and he did not, but as Oscar's age is more that of a father, then a brother, and it would probably cost another $100 to get Andrew a mention as well, he quickly built a bridge.

We expected some controversy to arise due to the format of the names. For those not close to the family, one could well have assumed that dad had remarried a bloke named Oscar. Or perhaps mum and dad were in a three-way relationship with Oscar, although I'm tipping my parents would not be that adventurous. Perhaps dad was not in fact my real father and this Oscar bloke had appeared out of nowhere after a) stalking my cooking on Facebook and gagging for a good feed b) hearing the joyous news and wanting to be part of my life again or c) spotting my big mouth on the Digital Folk website and wanting a web banner made on the cheap.

Alas, there has been no speculation. Zero. I can only assume that Oscar's turtle-neck jumpers and his very bad breath has brought him widespread fame or alternatively, people care more about the departures page.